Bulletin
Bloopers
This page last updated:
03/12/2009 08:26 PM
Temple/Synagogue |
Church
Temple Newsletters and Bulletins
These announcements were found in temple
newsletters and bulletins. Even spell check wouldn't have helped!...
Don't let worry kill you. Let your
synagogue help.
Join us for our Oneg (potluck) after
services. Prayer and medication to follow.
Remember in prayer the many who are sick
of our congregation.
For those of you who have children and
don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
We are pleased to announce the birth of
David Weiss, the sin of Rabbi and Mrs. Abe Weiss.
Thursday at 5:00PM, there will be a
meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All women wishing to become Little
Mothers, please see the rabbi in his private study.
The ladies of Haddassah have cast off
clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the basement on Tuesdays.
A bean supper will be held Wed. evening in
the community center. Music will follow.
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the
JCC. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.
Rabbi is on vacation. Massages can
be given to his secretary.
Mrs. Goldblum will be entering the
hospital this week for testes.
The Men's Club is warmly invited to the
Oneg hosted by Hadassah. Refreshments will be served for a nominal feel.
Please join us as we show our support for
Amy and Rob, who are preparing for the girth of their first child.
We are taking up a collection to defray
the cost of the new carpet in the sanctuary. All those wishing to do
something on the carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper.
If you enjoy sinning, the choir is looking
for you!
The Associate Rabbi unveiled the
synagogue's new fundraising campaign slogan this week: "I Upped My
Pledge - Up Yours."
Church Bulletins
Scouts
are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled.
Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
The
outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who
are not afflicted with any church.
Evening
massage - 6 p.m.
The
Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend
him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday
morning.
The
audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.
Low
Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please
use the back door.
Ushers
will eat latecomers.
The third
verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.
The Rev.
Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
The
pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will
sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."
During
the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a
good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
Next
Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor
will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."
Due to
the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued
until further notice.
Stewardship Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All"
The music
for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in
celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.
Remember
in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
The
eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church
basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this
tragedy.
The
concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are
due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the
piano, which as usual fell upon her.
22
members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs.
Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a
duet, The Lord Knows Why.
A song
fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.
Today's
Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns from a full choir.
Hymn 43:
"Great God, what do I see here?"
Hymn 47:
"Hark! an awful voice is sounding"
Hymn: "I
Love Thee My Ford."
On a
church bulletin during the minister's illness: GOD IS GOOD Dr.
Hargreaves is better.
The 1997
Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
Applications are now being accepted for 2 year-old nursery workers.
If you
would like to make a donation, fill out a form, enclose a check, and
drip in the collection basket.
Sermon
Outline:
I. Delineate your fear
II. Disown your fear
III. Displace your rear
Don't
miss this Saturday's exhibit by Christian Martian Arts.
We are
grateful for the help of those who cleaned up the grounds around the
church building and the rector.
A worm
welcome to all who have come today.
Barbara
remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions.
She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor
Nelson's sermons.
Irving
Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So
ends a friendship that began in their school days.
The
ushers will come forward and take our ties and offerings.
Please
place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s)
you want remembered.
Let us
join David and Lisa in the celebration of their wedding and bring their
happiness to a conclusion.
Diana and
Don request your presents at their wedding.
Helpers
are needed! Please sign up on the information sheep.
At the
evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?". Come
early and listen to our choir practice.
Miss
Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again" giving obvious
pleasure to the congregation.
Women's
Luncheon: Each member bring a sandwich. Polly Phillips will give the
medication.
Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING
conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference
includes meals."
The
church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and
gracious hostility.
Tuesday
at 4PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will
please come early.
Next
Friday we will be serving hot gods for lunch.
Ladies
Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited
to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
Eight new
choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new
members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
Next
Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help
they can get.
Remember
in prayer the many that are sick of our community. Smile at someone who
is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
"Ladies,
don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things
not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."
The
sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water."
The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
Bertha
Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary
Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
This
afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the
church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing
"Put Me In My Little Bed" accompanied by the pastor.
This
being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an
egg on the altar.
The
service will close with Little Drop of Water. One of the ladies will
start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
Would the
congregation kindly remember that the box marked 'For the Sick' is for
financial contributions only.
The vicar
is on holiday until the 27th. Local clergy will be celebrating on the
Sundays when he is away.
Mr.
Bradford was elected and has accepted the office of head deacon. We
could not get a better man.
Are you
45 and getting nowhere? Why not consider the Christian ministry?
Services
are at 11:00 and 6:30. Come early if you want a back seat.
A new
loudspeaker system has been installed in the church. It was given by one
of our members in honor of his wife.
Hymn No.
58 - 'Gold Will Take Care of You.'
Visitors
are asked to sing their names at the church entrance.
Our young
people are preparing the pizza dinner. It will be held in the perish
hall.
The
maintenance of the church graveyard is becoming increasingly costly. It
would be a great help if parishioners would do their best to tend their
own graves.
The
Ladies Society will be selling their new cookbook at the church supper
this Wednesday night. The proceeds will help purchase a stomach pump for
our community hospital.
The
sermon this morning: WOMEN IN THE CHURCH. The closing song: RISE UP, O
MEN OF GOD
The
sermon this morning: GOSSIP . . . THE SPEAKING OF EVIL. The closing
song: I LOVE TO TELL THE STORY
The
sermon this morning: CONTEMPORARY ISSUES #3 . . . EUTHANASIA The closing
song: TAKE MY LIFE
The
sermon this morning: PREDESTINATION . . . WHAT ABOUT HELL? The closing
song: I'LL GO WHERE YOU WANT ME TO GO
If you
are going to be hospitalized for an operation, contact the pastor.
Special prayer also for those who are seriously sick by request.
Today...Christian Youth Fellowship House Sexuality Course. 8 p. m.
Please park in the rear parking lot for this activity.
The
Church is glad to have with us today as our guest minister the Rev.
Shirley Green who has Mrs. Green with him. After the service we request
that all remain in the sanctuary for the Hanging of the Greens.
Bilingual Chicken Dinner this Sunday at Noon
The Gospel according to Luck
Sunday worship will begin with personal medication
[back to top] |