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Footprints by the Sea

Last night I had a wondrous dream, of prints in beach sand I had seen.  Though my feet hadn't walked that shore, I saw the footprints of my Lord.

 

And when a different print appeared, I asked the Lord, "What have we here?  This print is larger, round and neat, and wasn't made by walking feet."

 

"My child," He said in somber tone, "For miles I carried you alone.  I challenged you to stand - not ride.  To walk and let me be your guide.

 

You would not stand.  You would not grow.  The walk of faith, you would not know.  So then I finally got fed up, and there I dropped you on your butt.

 

Because in life, there comes a time, when one must fight and one must climb, when one must rise and take a stand, or just leave butt prints in the sand."

 

 

Bulletin Bloopers


This page last updated: 10/15/2006 03:58 PM

Temple/Synagogue | Church

 


Temple Newsletters and Bulletins

These announcements were found in temple newsletters and bulletins. Even spell check wouldn't have helped!...
 
Don't let worry kill you.  Let your synagogue help.
 
Join us for our Oneg (potluck) after services.  Prayer and medication to follow.
 
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our congregation.
 
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
 
We are pleased to announce the birth of David Weiss, the sin of Rabbi and Mrs. Abe Weiss.
 
Thursday at 5:00PM, there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All women wishing to become Little Mothers, please see the rabbi in his private study.
 
The ladies of Haddassah have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the basement on Tuesdays.
 
A bean supper will be held Wed. evening in the community center.  Music will follow.
 
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the JCC.  Please use the large double door at the side entrance.
 
Rabbi is on vacation.  Massages can be given to his secretary.
 
Mrs. Goldblum will be entering the hospital this week for testes.
 
The Men's Club is warmly invited to the Oneg hosted by Hadassah. Refreshments will be served for a nominal feel.
 
Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Rob, who are preparing for the girth of their first child.
 
We are taking up a collection to defray the cost of the new carpet in the sanctuary. All those wishing to do something on the carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper.
 
If you enjoy sinning, the choir is looking for you!
 
The Associate Rabbi unveiled the synagogue's new fundraising campaign slogan this week: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."
 

Church Bulletins

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

Evening massage - 6 p.m.

The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.

Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.

Ushers will eat latecomers.

The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.

The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.

The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."

During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.

Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."

Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.

Stewardship Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All"

The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.

22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.

A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.

Today's Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns from a full choir.

Hymn 43: "Great God, what do I see here?"

Hymn 47: "Hark! an awful voice is sounding"

Hymn: "I Love Thee My Ford."

On a church bulletin during the minister's illness: GOD IS GOOD Dr. Hargreaves is better.

The 1997 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.

Applications are now being accepted for 2 year-old nursery workers.

If you would like to make a donation, fill out a form, enclose a check, and drip in the collection basket.

Sermon Outline:
I. Delineate your fear
II. Disown your fear
III. Displace your rear

Don't miss this Saturday's exhibit by Christian Martian Arts.

We are grateful for the help of those who cleaned up the grounds around the church building and the rector.

A worm welcome to all who have come today.

Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Nelson's sermons.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

The ushers will come forward and take our ties and offerings.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.

Let us join David and Lisa in the celebration of their wedding and bring their happiness to a conclusion.

Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding.

Helpers are needed! Please sign up on the information sheep.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?". Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again" giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

Women's Luncheon: Each member bring a sandwich. Polly Phillips will give the medication.

Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals."

The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.

Tuesday at 4PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

Next Friday we will be serving hot gods for lunch.

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Remember in prayer the many that are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."

The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water."
The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."

Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing "Put Me In My Little Bed" accompanied by the pastor.

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

The service will close with Little Drop of Water. One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.

Would the congregation kindly remember that the box marked 'For the Sick' is for financial contributions only.

The vicar is on holiday until the 27th. Local clergy will be celebrating on the Sundays when he is away.

Mr. Bradford was elected and has accepted the office of head deacon. We could not get a better man.

Are you 45 and getting nowhere? Why not consider the Christian ministry?

Services are at 11:00 and 6:30. Come early if you want a back seat.

A new loudspeaker system has been installed in the church. It was given by one of our members in honor of his wife.

Hymn No. 58 - 'Gold Will Take Care of You.'

Visitors are asked to sing their names at the church entrance.

Our young people are preparing the pizza dinner. It will be held in the perish hall.

The maintenance of the church graveyard is becoming increasingly costly. It would be a great help if parishioners would do their best to tend their own graves.

The Ladies Society will be selling their new cookbook at the church supper this Wednesday night. The proceeds will help purchase a stomach pump for our community hospital.

The sermon this morning: WOMEN IN THE CHURCH. The closing song: RISE UP, O MEN OF GOD

The sermon this morning: GOSSIP . . . THE SPEAKING OF EVIL. The closing song: I LOVE TO TELL THE STORY

The sermon this morning: CONTEMPORARY ISSUES #3 . . . EUTHANASIA The closing song: TAKE MY LIFE

The sermon this morning: PREDESTINATION . . . WHAT ABOUT HELL? The closing song: I'LL GO WHERE YOU WANT ME TO GO

If you are going to be hospitalized for an operation, contact the pastor. Special prayer also for those who are seriously sick by request.

Today...Christian Youth Fellowship House Sexuality Course. 8 p. m. Please park in the rear parking lot for this activity.

The Church is glad to have with us today as our guest minister the Rev. Shirley Green who has Mrs. Green with him. After the service we request that all remain in the sanctuary for the Hanging of the Greens.

Bilingual Chicken Dinner this Sunday at Noon

The Gospel according to Luck

Sunday worship will begin with personal medication

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